Jersey's Hanky Panky Hotel

Today, I looked out of my office window overlooking the old bus depot and scanned the building site that is slowly becoming the new Royal Yacht Hotel. As I did so I heard Lyndon Farnham, who used to be the government’s head of Jersey Tourism and is now a director of the company developing this hotel, announce on the radio that the development was now valued at £26million.

2 years ago, when planning approved the development, the cost was £18million – but I suppose that’s Jersey inflation for you!

Their website doesn’t leave much to the imagination with images of lace knickers, dripping cream and feathers coupled with phrases such as ’relight your most indulgent desires’. But in case you’ve missed the point, there’s a ‘Hanky Panky’ package for you to book, complete with ‘seductive nibble selection’. As Leslie Philips would say, ‘Ding –dong!’

More interestingly, Lyndon suggested that his hotel, together with the other spa hotels in Jersey, will make the island one of the most ‘keenly occupied’ spa areas in Europe. He couldn’t think of anywhere other than Jersey, that had more spas within an area of 9 x 5 miles. Well, I may not be a very good judge of distance but I reckon most of the major capital cities in Europe have more spas within their central area, than Jersey will ever have.

A brave sentiment - but bravery is probably needed in large doses, given the size of this investment. The Yacht will need to achieve a very high occupancy of those 110 rooms to deliver an acceptable return on a £26million investment. And the spa market is going to be fiercely competitive as more and more of them open. I seem to remember that The Longueville Manor was going to build a spa a couple of years ago – and then did not go ahead. This could prove to have been a shrewd decision.

Good luck to the team behind The Royal Yacht- they are certainly daring to be different. In the meantime let’s hope that those foundations are good and strong – with all that hanky panky going on, they’ll need to be!